Monday, January 10, 2011

Aleatorio


How do I deal with my sexuality? That's basically my life question at the moment. It increasingly gets harder as I grow older. And I am paralyzed by fear - fear of a lot of things. I actually have no clue how to handle the future.

I practically spent the whole day with Ricky Martin. My current predicament caused me to look into his confession. And how he is handling things right now. I jumped from one interview to another, and also to his music videos. I can't help but watch some of them over and over. Gosh he's so handsome. I cannot help but look at his face. I sure wish I was that good-looking. More importantly though, I observed how he handles himself after his confession. What struck me is his respect for himself. He never lost his dignity after coming out. That is what I am lacking big time. Respect and love for who I really am, and the courage to, well, basically, courage for everything.

In light of my current situation, I contacted some people, in the hopes that I can have a talk with them. I guess I need someone to talk to at the moment. I sure hope they will oblige...

Help!